The Truth About Kids

February 28th, 2008
Barney

No matter how thoroughly you prepare, no matter how well you’ve planned for every contingency, no matter how many books you’ve read or how much good advice you’ve internalized, kids will be kids. And over a lifetime they’re entirely likely to do things that will surprise you, or become things you hadn’t counted on.

Reuters has an article entitled An Inconvenient Truth - Kids Aren’t Perfect that examines the truth about kids with a good bit of humor, which is an indispensable quality for any parent to have in the face of real life. A short cite:

Before becoming a parent, for instance, I genuinely believed I could convince my offspring that Barney the Dinosaur is in fact evil and does not actually love them.

I was also convinced that my children would be the first toddlers in history to possess, thanks to their kindly father, impeccable table manners and a keen appreciation of historical documentaries, late-90s acoustic mope rock and Alaskan scenery.

On all these counts, I was forced to face facts. News flash: kids love Barney, do not generally appreciate the genius of Ken Burns or Elliot Smith and will never, ever, even if you shell out many thousands of dollars on a pleasure cruise of Glacier Bay, give a damn about the majesty of the wild when there’s a buffet table piled with cookies behind them.

It’s a funny read, recommended for all grown kids of us grandmoms who are just starting their families. Of course, the article is written by a Dad, and Dads aren’t nearly as realistic in their expectations of children than Moms are (somehow, we just know these things). My newest granddaughter will be here soon, so this is is a laugh dedicated to Sunshine’s Mom, who is hereby permitted to read it out loud to Sunshine’s Dad, just so he can see how silly unreasonable expectations can seem.

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