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Homecoming!

October 6th, 2008

Yea, the kids are home! Kind of strange how empty this place seemed while they were gone. Hurricane Fay came through in August and dumped a full foot of rain in two days, flooding the ground floor thoroughly and making hubby and I have to sleep on the fouton on the living room floor. We liked it being so handy so much that we stayed there for a month before putting the room back together. It was just us, who’s to care?

I never quite figured out how to cook meals for just the two of us either, the leftovers just kept piling up until the fridge was completely overloaded. It all eventually got tossed into the compost bin. When the pears ripened Da Bear came on in to feast, totally destroyed the trash bin to get to - whatever was in there he thought he could eat. Since we don’t toss food scraps, I’m guessing it was stale, flat, watered-down drips of beer from cans waiting for recycling.

Filed under Vacations, Projects, Older Children, Family Life, Generational Learning | Comment (0)

A Wonderful Family Reunion

July 8th, 2008

Here’s hoping that all my readers had a happy, safe and brightly-lit Independence Day this year! Ours was particularly great, with Grandson #2 (two months younger than #1), his Mom and soon-to-be official Stepdad and 15-year old sister we’ve only met once before. Other guests were at a minimum, which allowed us to just hang out together, tell stories and talk about ’stuff’, hike on the Mount Mitchell Trail a bit, and break in my brand new deck.

We hadn’t seen grandson Michael for four years, which is way too long! Last time he was here - for the 4th of July - he got bitten by a copperhead on day-1 and had to spend the next three days in the hospital. Not much of a birthday vacation! Luckily, copperheads have thus far been absent this year (knock on wood), so Mike and I were able to spend good time together picking blackberries and making cobbler, accumulating lots of thorn pricks and scratches in the process. We only looked slightly war-weary by the time the cobbler was done, badges of honor around here!

Filed under Grandchild Visits, Family Gatherings, Holidays, Older Children, Family Life | Comment (0)

Managing The Weaponry

April 9th, 2008

…and Laying Down the Law

It was an action-packed weekend. A total of 4 daughters (one by birth, three by stray whose kids call me “Aunt Granny”) one stray son and five semi-grands plus #1 grandson. Here for the youngest semi-grandson’s eighth birthday on Sunday. To make matters worse, the weather was absolutely dismal so there could be no friendly campfire for Peep-roasting, the ins and outs of having all those people coming and going from the cold and wet into the house completely trashed the place so that it’s taken two days just to reclaim the living area.

There were some issues that arose, particularly in regards to the younger boys (8 and 10) and 17-year old #1 grandson’s ample collection of serious weaponry that he just can’t seem to keep put safely away because he practices with them so often. I had to collect ninja knives and Samurai swords, one rapier and several heavy fantasy swords from them at various times, which they’d managed to fish out of some gawd-awful corner of grandson’s outrageously messy room when nobody was looking. The girls (4 and 14) were, as usual, perfect angels - ratted out those boys every time…

#1 Grandson lives here, graduates high school this year, and is an only child. This place is far out in the country with no immediate neighbors, surrounded by National Forest. When he was younger (about 8), we began allowing him to collect wooden practice swords and staffs, gave him form lessons to keep him busy. Our son (who died when grandson was just 2) had a double black belt in a weapons form of Kung-Fu (was also an amazing juggler and seasoned performer who once toured demonstrating his weapons skills on stage with his master). Grandson had inherited a lot of practice and show weapons, bought more once we allowed that beginning when he was 12. He makes spectacularly detailed Samurai armor by hand too, as well as fantasy chess sets from Sculpy - he’s extremely talented, we’ve always encouraged it.

Filed under Rules, Weapons, Safety, Grandchild Visits, Older Children, Family Gatherings, Discipline | Comments (2)

15 Tips For New Grandmas - 2

March 4th, 2008

Part 2: Tips 6 - 10

6. If You Live Close, Set Babysitting Rules

If your kids live in the same town or area, you may fall into the “convenient” babysitter role. I’ve known grandmothers to get hoodwinked into providing full-time day care for young grandchildren because their daughter decided she didn’t want to deal with real day care when she went back to work. There’s nothing that can sour a grandma-grandchild relationship faster than a grandma who feels abused by the presence of that grandchild.

If you don’t plan to be full time caregiver, don’t volunteer for the job and don’t accept it when offered. Remind the kids that you already paid your baby-raising dues, and don’t plan to start all over again. Also beware of being the “convenient” sitter on call for any time the kids want a night out. Sometimes this can translate to indulgence, while putting the kibosh on all your plans for what YOU want to do.

7. Avoid the Dueling Grandmas Game

Often a grandma can be snowed with tales about what the ‘other’ grandparents do. If you fall for it, you may find that you’ve been hoodwinked into donating way more time, money and/or “goodies” than is good for anybody!

Often these days there are 3 or 4 grannies per grandchild, what with the burgeoning divorce and remarriage rate. And that situation has often conspired to contribute serious spoilage to the new parents as well as the grandkids. Parents and grandparents who vie for affection with bribes and fancy gifts aren’t really buying love. If love is what you’ve got to offer, it will be valuable in its own right.

Filed under Humor, Babysitting, Grandchild Visits, Relationships, Budgeting, Child-Parent Relationships, Family Life, Older Children, Generational Learning | Comment (1)

15 Tips For New Grandmas

March 4th, 2008

Toward cementing your role in your grandchild’s life

My newest grandchild is affectionately known as Sunshine (when she’s not being referred to by her eldest cousin as GuitarGreg) will be making her appearance within the next 10 days or so, 500 miles away. She’ll be my seventh and the oldest is 17, so I’ve a little grandmotherly experience. Since I’m not a perfect person, perfect parent or perfect grandparent, I’ve had to learn some things the hard way. This series lists 15 tips that might come in handy.

Part 1: Tips 1 - 5

For you new or expectant first-time Grannies out there, here’s tips 1 through 5…

1. Choose Your Granny Name Well, You’ll Have It Forever

If you don’t want to be called “Granny” or “Grandma” or “Grandmother,” come up with something you like better. Your grandchild will hopefully have at least two grandmothers, and you’ll want to distinguish your title from the others. My grandmothers were “Miss Granny” and “Lala,” my hubby only had one and she was the formal “Grandmother.” Some like “Nana” or “Nonie” and “Amah” is pretty good if you don’t mind the Asian overtones. “MeeMa” is another grandparent name among the tribe, while yet another is simply “Gram.”

It doesn’t really matter what they call you, but that’s who you’ll be to them all their lives. Whatever you decide, let your children know your wishes. If you don’t they’ll give you a granny title of their own choosing, and you’ll have a heck of a time undoing it!

Filed under Humor, Diet, Babysitting, Grandchild Visits, Projects, Baby Names, Child-Parent Relationships, Family Life, Older Children, Generational Learning | Comments (4)

Looking at Life from the Long End

January 9th, 2008

The Older Child Adoption and Permanency Movement logo - Adopt Older Kids and Youth: A-OKAY.

It’s really kind of strange. When our own children were babies - and at 14 months apart, they were babies at the same time - we were positively terrified by them. Or maybe by our own perceived responsibilities FOR them. We spent many a long night just watching them sleep, deciding what we would and wouldn’t do in relation to the way our parents raised us, sowing the seeds for all new mistakes we invented along the way.

We didn’t have much furniture, being in the Navy and having to move every few months. So when hubby was at nuke school (that came between A-school and sub-school) in Bainbridge and we were living in falling-down WW-II housing blocks in Aberdeen, we put a mattress in the middle of the living room floor, pillows against the walls against which we could sit.

Daughter, our eldest, was just new to walking and didn’t mind having to crawl on soft living room floor one bit. Son wasn’t yet a year old, crawling and rolling was his main means of locomotion. I recall days and weeks spent doing nothing (apart from the usual cooking, dishes and laundry) but rolling around on that mattress with them laughing as hard as they could. Or just watching them wrestle with each other. They were so beautiful! So new, so promising. So much our responsibility!

Filed under Relationships, Adoption, Marriage, Older Children, Family Life, Child-Parent Relationships | Comment (0)

What NOT To Do to Older Children

September 19th, 2007

Good Night, John-Boy!

People don’t ‘do’ children these days like they used to. Why, in my parents’ generation it wasn’t at all unusual for a couple to have a dozen or more children, and for parents to become grandparents while they were still popping out a baby every other year!

In those days a parent had plenty of time to become a ‘Pro’ while still having children to personally raise. Make the worst mistakes with the eldest, the least with the youngest, and all the kids in between suffering a little less of that “rough childhood syndrome” as time went along. Not everybody’s family was The Waltons, where Ma and Pa were pros right from the start.

Of course, those darned Waltons did have Grandma and Grampa living with them. Or they lived with the grands (it being the Great Depression and all). These days most couples have just a few children, two being average and four being a regular big deal. And with a transient society where people move around a lot to get good work, grandparents aren’t as prevalent in a child’s life as they once were either.

Filed under Child-Space, Older Children, Family Life, Child-Parent Relationships, Discipline | Comments (9)

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