The volunteer students from D.C.’s Bancroft Elementary School who have put some backbone into the First Family’s organic kitchen garden this season enjoyed a fresh lunch salad topped with sweet, fat peas that they’d helped to grow and harvest. For dessert, they got cupcakes topped with berries, also grown in the garden on the South Lawn.

Thus far the well-tended organic garden, which sports various cultivars chosen by the White House Chef to compliment the cuisine served both to the Obama family and to their guests – with a majority of the bounty going to local D.C. food kitchens – has thus far produced 80 pounds of fresh food. And it’s still June, not even tomato time yet! As the First Lady says in this clip, getting involved in growing, harvesting and preparing fresh, organic food can help with a number of health-related issues that plague this country’s citizens…

Obesity, diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure are all diet-related health issues that cost this country more than $120 billion each year. That’s a lot of money. While the dollar figure is shocking in and of itself, the effect on our children’s health is even more profound. Nearly a third of the children in this country are either overweight or obese, and a third will suffer from diabetes at some point in their lifetime. In Hispanic and African American communities, those numbers climb even higher so that nearly half of the children in those communities will suffer the same fate. Those numbers are unacceptable.

A. Siegel of Get Energy Smart blog does a little math and comes up with an intriguing scenario related to gardens just about a quarter the size of Michelle’s. If just five million Americans were inspired to create a Victory Garden in their yard (or in containers on their deck or patio, in window boxes, inside by a sunny window, etc.) that produced 20 pounds of food each year, it would amount to 100 million pounds (50,000 tons) of fresh, healthy vegetables and fruits grown right at home or in the neighborhood. That’s 50,000 tons of good food that would not have to be grown with chemical intensive agriculture, harvested by third world peasant/slaves, shipped to your local market using fossil fuels, and costing a hefty chunk of the shrinking household budget.

The added incentive is of course getting people outdoors instead of parked in front of the television when they get home from work, bending, digging, hoeing, tending and simply enjoying their garden. Even that little bit of exercise and simple enjoyment can help reduce a tough day’s accumulation of stress, and reducing stress has its health savings dividends as well.

Kudos once again to our beautiful First Lady, her helpers in the kitchen, the Obama girls and the students of Bencroft Elementary for a tasty job well done. Things like this are a fun and healthy chunk of the Change We Need!

It’s November already, the the world economic situation – or just the US economy – is dire. Many are wondering if there will be a Christmas at all this year, and that’s a shame. It means we’ve come to identify this wonderful holiday with the ugly consumer orgy it’s become over the years. Where credit cards get maxed out buying useless, cheap plastic junk or electronic gizmos that don’t last, and just about everything ends up in the landfill before next Christmas anyway.

So I’m going to advocate very strongly here for the kind of Christmas that whole families can enjoy together doing and making things that will surely become treasures to be cherished forever. Gift-giving really isn’t all about how much money you’ve got to waste, it’s about giving of one’s self and one’s thoughts and love and skills. Grandmothers are particularly adept at teaching these sort of things to the up and coming generation, and apart from some serious messes to clean up, these are wonderful projects for the holidays.

Our friends over at the blog Life on a Shoestring Budget have some very nifty ideas, a surprising number of them having to do with that ubiquitous dryer lint that mostly gets tossed these days. My favorites are dryer lint paper – for Christmas cards or handmade notebooks – dryer lint mache, and dryer lint clay. The recipes offered in links to Frugal Living and PlanetPal look to be easy and satisfying.

I really like the idea of handmade journals for budding writers and artists, kids can put so much of themselves into a project like this! My grandson learned to make leather bound journals in school, and cuts up old leather jackets and such from thrift shops and free bins to make patchwork covers. We’re just starting on the paper-making, which will probably go mostly for Christmas cards. I’ve plenty of scraps of material, lace, trim, sequins, beads, studs, jewels and buttons that can be glued on the paper to make winter or Christmas scenes. Just need good old Elmer’s and some scissors, your distant family and friends will keep these cards forever!

Check out the post at Shoestring Budget and get busy, time is slipping away! For great ideas, check out Casual Keystrokes, which has a fine list of cool journal and planner ideas. And don’t forget that the kids can also help Grandma with edible gifts. In a later post I’ll include some of my favorite cookie and candy recipes for just this purpose. If you are like me, you save all those Christmas cookie tins when the season’s over (mine are stored with the rest of the Christmas decorations). These can be filled with all sorts of yummy goodies that make great gifts. My extended family has grown so used to getting their Christmas cookie-candy assortment every year, I think they might riot if ever I were to miss a year!

The holiday season wasn’t invented to bolster free market Capitalism, you know. It’s a time for love and sharing and warmth between people. Children honestly need to know this, as the economy is very likely to be grim for the next few years, and people will be struggling hard just to survive. Teach your grandchildren how, and encourage them to enjoy. These are lessons they’ll carry forward through the rest of their lives, and will never be sorry to have learned.

Links:

Christmas in a Depressed Economy
Casual Keystrokes
‘Tis the Season: Gift Ideas
Making Paper from Dryer Lint
Lint Craft Recipes
Stuffed Toy Patterns

Yea, the kids are home! Kind of strange how empty this place seemed while they were gone. Hurricane Fay came through in August and dumped a full foot of rain in two days, flooding the ground floor thoroughly and making hubby and I have to sleep on the fouton on the living room floor. We liked it being so handy so much that we stayed there for a month before putting the room back together. It was just us, who’s to care?

I never quite figured out how to cook meals for just the two of us either, the leftovers just kept piling up until the fridge was completely overloaded. It all eventually got tossed into the compost bin. When the pears ripened Da Bear came on in to feast, totally destroyed the trash bin to get to – whatever was in there he thought he could eat. Since we don’t toss food scraps, I’m guessing it was stale, flat, watered-down drips of beer from cans waiting for recycling.

Grandson only got to work a few days at his Dad’s comic book shop, but enjoyed it a lot. Didn’t earn anything for college, of course. His dreadlocks are dreadful, sort of a sickly green color from too much time in the neighbor’s swimming pool. Did manage to get his internal clock turned entirely backwards by the weird schedules of my sister’s family. Sister – the one who has a regular day-job – didn’t want to let him go, he’s the only one who could deal with my ‘headstrong’ 5-year old niece, who adores him. My sister has learned more about how NOT to give in to niece’s mad demands from my dear only-child grandson than she ever learned by just being a parent!

Daughter is exhausted from her nursing ordeal, very saddened by our old friend’s condition. She did get to accompany him to Costa Rica, which was a lot of fun for her despite 12 hour a day nursing duties. Met lots of cool ex-pats and locals, who took to calling her “Shiny-Girl” or “Tough-As-Nails” (because she could put up with the “Hard Man”).

They’re both very glad to be home, just before the autumn leaves peak. The fuel situation kept our Western North Carolina tourist season at bay all summer as people decided to just stay home, our October leaf-looker season is also looking to be a bust this year as the economy melts down. Tourism is the #1 industry here – at least half the citizens make their living off visitors one way or another – so we will of course suffer worse than most areas of the country. If it’s mere “recession” out there, it’ll be a full-fledged depression here.

So we’re going to reconnoiter about what to do from here to keep our home and property, have enough money to buy food, etc. Maybe start a new home business, sell my car to get daughter’s car fixed (needs an engine), whatever is necessary. In the meantime, I’m delighted to have ‘em home!

Ever since I got married relatives have been sending their kids to visit during the summer when they’re out of school. First it was my little brother and sisters. When they grew up and had children, it’s been nieces and nephews too. Then it was adopted children, semi-adopted children and then their children – my grandkids. Since I’ve generally been a mostly at-home Mom and Grandma, this (wherever we’re living at the time is ‘this’) is where the kids come. We don’t mind.

Yet the visitors are mostly “city kids,” who aren’t trained and accustomed to looking out for issues here in the country that simply don’t arise in the city. Looking both ways before crossing the street, knowing how to trigger the crossing light, being wary of strangers, keeping the doors and windows locked and being in constant cell-phone distance from a parent or caregiver are all very useful skills in the city. Out here where the nearest paved road is half a mile away and nobody can “drive by” there’s other things to worry about.

The grandson who has lived here with us for 16 of his 18 years has never run into serious trouble. Grandson #2 and nephew #1 from baby sister have both had losing run-ins with copperheads, another nephew nearly broke his ankle trying to run straight down the terraces (but at least he didn’t take a nose-dive off the cliff), and we’ve installed a stop sign at the railroad crossing because we’ve always been paranoid of that. Only a few visitors ever got really lost, luckily we have very good girl-dogs who will always tell us if a kid’s in trouble, lead us right to them.

So we’ve installed some activities that will keep visiting kids close and entertained. We can’t move the swimming hole any closer (it’s about a mile), so we insist that an elder teen or adult ALWAYS accompany the young’uns – swimming hole totally off-limits until someone becomes available. We’ve also closed off the bottomland to kids, enforce it with horror stories about campers who had to go to the hospital with total-body poison ivy, whole families attacked by swarms of yellow jackets. Copperheads and timber rattlers. Even the ghosts of the prisoners who built the railroad’s great wall across the cove. You name it, we’ve tried it. Now nobody goes down there in the summer unless we make ‘em help clean out the spring.

We’ve got 10 holes of frisbee disc golf course right here on the ridge. Nephew did manage to break a total of 6 kitchen and library windows when learning how, but we’ll get those replaced eventually. With plexiglass. There are occasional snakes, but generally people playing are making enough noise for them to get out of the way. Plus, the little girl-dogs are on constant patrol, take kid-duty seriously.

We have horseshoes and badminton, a large and always in need of help garden that grows delicacies that never actually make it back to the kitchen before getting eaten. There’s the back yard campfire pit and the forest is chock full of sticks to burn. This year we’ve stocked up on boxes of Peeps, on sale the week after Easter and chunked into the freezer. If you love roasted marshmallows, you’ve just gotta try roasted Peeps!

We have a regular armory stuffed with the entire range of water weapons, from derringer to tactical nuke. Plus several gross of balloons for making grenades. We have an archery and BB range. We have an entire array of mock battle gear, your basic wooden and PVC spears and swords and battle axes and clubs covered with pipe foam and duct tape so nobody can get really hurt. And, for when worst comes to worst, we’ve got a well-stocked library room, every board game ever invented, some challenging jigsaw puzzles, cards, not one but two bar-quality dart boards and a box full of darts. We’ve a junk drawer full of dice and pick-up sticks, a DVD/VCR, and art/craft supplies galore. Daughter works at a supply store…

We also keep large supplies of mosquito repellant on hand. There’s the deep woods DEET stuff (use sparingly, it causes cancer eventually even though it prevents West Nile and Yellow Fever right now), there’s Avon Skin-So-Soft, and there’s a mint-based concoction I make and put in a mister spray jar. Here in the Appalachian forest, bug repellant is a lot more useful than sun screen (but we keep SPF 30+ in big bottles).

For the inevitable stings, bites, cuts, bends, scrapes and pokes, I stock poundage of baking soda and jars of ammonia and rubbing alcohol, industrial-size containers of your basic no-frills bandaids and bandages, 4 sizes of ace elastic bandages, some elastic joint supporters and some velcro splints.

Being well stocked and well prepared for summertime guests of the “I’m Bored!” variety is a temper-saver extraordinaire. We’ve always had to lay down some hard and fast rules for when other people’s children are here for any length of time, but that doesn’t prevent the inevitable.

What kind of supplies do readers suggest for guests in-town? Things have changed a lot since I was a kid and my parents didn’t want to know I was around unless it’s dinnertime and I’m late. The rainy weather indoor stuff would be as good, I think. Lots of scrap paper, colored pencils, waterpaints, charcoals, beads and beading supplies, various other art/crafty things, video and DVD entertainment options, board games, cards, darts, dice, etc. What do you do with kids if they can’t go outside, apart from formal activities you’ve planned for evenings and days-out (movies, out to dinner, trip to the museum, picnics, hiking excursions, swimming at the pool or lake, etc.)?

In the immediate family circle are O’Sheas and Coins and O’Cains and O’Rourkes and other names so blatantly Irish nobody could confuse the issue by the number of Rastas and Buddhists and Presbyterians and atheists (and God-Knows-Whats) in the crowd. Even though we did outnumber them. After the mass there was a photo collage presented in the fellowship hall, probably 600 people stayed to see it.

The trip to Jamaica and those tough-looking Rastas who literally carried Rick for miles into the mountains to see a holy man. The Tibetan monks and their beautiful sand mandala who were so delighted by their host’s soaring spirit. The notable artists and musicians who never passed through without spending time with Rick. The children he’d taught through the years, now grown with children of their own old enough to go to college. The beautiful red-haired boy, the courageous and determined young man, the cultural guru, the thin and frail middle-aged man who looked an awful lot like Jesus if that holy man’s eyes twinkled nearly as brightly as Rick’s.

We cried buckets of tears, but were reunited in our grief. We had too often lost touch over the decades. All past petty tiffs forgotten, love of Rick uniting us all once again as if we’d never grown apart. Then, later that evening, came the wake…

It was in the city near Rick’s house, hosted by a wonderful couple with one of those Irish names and an acre of yard. All of it put to use for this event, and all the neighbors forewarned. There were two groups of fiddlers and harpists, a stage at the other end of the yard stacked with equipment. A couple dozen notable rock and reggae musicians jammed all night off and on. A drum circle filled in the breaks. There were children lined up for the tree swing and trampoline, guarded (and herded) by teenage volunteer sitters. There were rows of tables filled with food, watermelons galore, coolers of pop and water and more beer than anybody could keep track of, magically replenishing kegs of Guinness, and a picnick table bar on the deck stocked with more kinds of wine than I could identify as well as literal cases of Jameson’s Irish Whiskey. Parking overflowed the vacant lot a few blocks away manned by volunteers with light sticks, a constant crowd of about 500 constantly shifted through the night. It was still going when we checked in, 8 hours after driving home through three states!

My friend Rick enjoyed the love of so very many people, each of whom claimed him as his/her BEST friend. He could make you feel that way even in a crowd. What we all received from him is important enough to last these generations for many generations more, and comes complete with the power to change the world. We are so blessed…

The greatest gift Rick gave to those of us who loved him is each other. Our charge now is to hang on to those ever-widening, ever-proliferating circles of love and friendship. My family’s all for it (though we won’t be moving back to the city). I think a lot of others are too.

Kiteriggers Memorial Site

Sadly, I write today about a very dear old friend who didn’t wake up yesterday (April 15). Gladly, I also get to write about another friend whose brand spanking new young son was born right about the same time our old friend died. Funny how life seems to work out that way, when tears of sorrow mingle so readily with tears of joy. I must be getting old (again… still?).

My friend Rick wasn’t supposed to live past 16, when he was gravely injured in an auto accident that killed his friend. Confined to a wheel chair from that moment on with paralysis progressing steadily, he wasn’t supposed to live past 25. We celebrated his 50th birthday just last year, so he beat the odds big time. Became a college teacher, a sage to young people and deep soul’s heartbeat to diverse creative communities. Rick was beloved by hundreds, and holds a special place in my own life as one of the most Culturally Significant human beings I’ve ever had the privilege of knowing and loving.

So it was with a sense of karmic aptness that I greeted the morning mail to find news of another big event, the birth of a fine, healthy son to another friend (I’m still trying to work out the details on an arranged marriage for Sunshine, but it might be too soon…). I don’t believe in reincarnation, but it’s humbling nonetheless to experience life’s comings and goings as such a cyclical phenomenon – the wheel just keeps on turning, even when it seems right that the sun stop in its tracks to grieve a lost light.

Kite-maker believed in the power of laughter

We’ll all get our chance to step off that wheel eventually, go wherever it is our frail bodies keep us from going while we’re here learning things that need learning, maybe teaching the little we’ve learned. It’s nice to know that the opportunities keep on coming in as those spent keep on checking out. Just as it should be.

11. Teach Your Grandchild Something Cool

When you have your grandchild for a day or a few days, try to get them interested in some skill or knowledge that you have, which he or she might be willing to learn. My daughter sniffed at sewing because I sewed – said she didn’t have to learn. But #1 grandson is quite the sew-er (seamster?), makes many of his own fashionable accessories (including a kilt and leather armor, all his halloween costumes) and does his own alterations. I taught him the basics, help him pattern, he enjoys doing the work.

If your grandchild is artistically inclined, have art supplies handy. If s/he’s a budding actor, encourage it. There are interests you as grandma can indulge and help to develop, and children need to know someone’s interested in what they can do.

12. Let the Grandkids Help With Meals

When our grandchildren are here with us I like to get their daily input on what’s for lunch and dinner. Sure, they sometimes think up something awful, but it’s an opportunity to get to know what they like and don’t like, what combinations most appeal to them. I’ve tons of cookbooks with great illustrations, and a big garden that’s usually got fresh produce incoming when they’re here. Except for strawberries and cherry tomatoes, most makes it into the kitchen before being eaten.

If we’ve picked a bunch of tomatoes, I get out the tomato recipes and let them decide. It’s usually Granny’s Famous ‘Mater Pie. We chunk up the variety veggies and marinate for kabobs. They’re expert ‘tater and corncob foil-wrappers, and will eat as much of everything cooked in or over the fire as they can fit in their stomachs.

13. Have Them Help You Read the Fine Print

When your grandchild learns to read, one fun exercise is to take him or her grocery shopping with you and teach them about scrutinizing food labels. They get to practice their reading skills, and learn something about what’s really in the stuff they’re eating.

My general rule is if you can’t pronounce it, you probably shouldn’t be eating it. Keep going through the brands until you find one that doesn’t have all those unpronounceable chemicals and preservatives in it, chances are your grandchild will decide very firmly that it tastes much better than that ‘other’ brand.


14. Let Them Make the Drinks Too

I have the simplest lemonade recipe on the planet – a cup of bottled lemon juice and a cup of sugar in two quarts of water. It’s hard to mess up, so I usually let the grandchild make it first thing in the morning, drink all day. Pick up some fresh lemons, limes or oranges and let them squeeze the juice. Let them help you harvest some fresh mint for mint tea, or work the juicer with the morning’s garden haul for homemade V-8.

You might be amazed at what healthy drinks and snacks your grandchildren will eagerly consume if they get to help concoct them. And you won’t get a reputation as the “junk-food granny.”

15. Encourage Physical Activity

If your grandchild is born in a city like mine were, you know that social conditions no longer encourage kids to spend time outdoors doing physical things. Too much danger out there, too little to do. If you live in a rural environment as we do, or can plan to go rural when the grandkids are with you for visits, keep them moving!

Go hiking or bike riding, visit museums or exhibits they’ll enjoy. Go camping or swimming, take up frisbee golf or horseshoes or badminton. Play kick the can or capture the flag at dusk, or even a friendly game of tag. Every bit of exercise you can engage in with the grandchildren is exercise that will help you too!

These are fun tips about how a new grandma can build a relationship with her grandchild/grandchildren that’s unique and valued. When babies are new some plain old mom-knowledge is most useful, some TLC to the new mom and dad too. Cook some meals, stay with the cranky baby while they take a walk to earn calm. Babies are not babies for very long, and before you know it they’re full-fledged kids with more energy than any adult, and an insatiable curiosity that seeks stimulation.

In the end, the very, very best thing about grandchildren is that you as grandma can give them back to their parents for the hard work and worry. Your main job is to enjoy them!

Posts to This Series:
Part 1: Tips 1 – 5
Part 2: Tips 6 – 10
Part 3: Tips 11 – 15

6. If You Live Close, Set Babysitting Rules

If your kids live in the same town or area, you may fall into the “convenient” babysitter role. I’ve known grandmothers to get hoodwinked into providing full-time day care for young grandchildren because their daughter decided she didn’t want to deal with real day care when she went back to work. There’s nothing that can sour a grandma-grandchild relationship faster than a grandma who feels abused by the presence of that grandchild.

If you don’t plan to be full time caregiver, don’t volunteer for the job and don’t accept it when offered. Remind the kids that you already paid your baby-raising dues, and don’t plan to start all over again. Also beware of being the “convenient” sitter on call for any time the kids want a night out. Sometimes this can translate to indulgence, while putting the kibosh on all your plans for what YOU want to do.

7. Avoid the Dueling Grandmas Game

Often a grandma can be snowed with tales about what the ‘other’ grandparents do. If you fall for it, you may find that you’ve been hoodwinked into donating way more time, money and/or “goodies” than is good for anybody!

Often these days there are 3 or 4 grannies per grandchild, what with the burgeoning divorce and remarriage rate. And that situation has often conspired to contribute serious spoilage to the new parents as well as the grandkids. Parents and grandparents who vie for affection with bribes and fancy gifts aren’t really buying love. If love is what you’ve got to offer, it will be valuable in its own right.

8. If Finances are Tight, Consider Your Contributions Carefully

When families are starting out they often don’t have the accumulated means to buy a nice house or car, to purchase the nicest clothes or accessories, or afford the best pre-schools or private schools. Grandparents with money will often be asked to help.

Always consider whether what you can give is going to help or hurt the family in the long run. If you give them a down payment for an over-valued house with an ARM mortgage, they’re probably better off renting awhile longer. If the public schools aren’t bad, don’t get snookered into private school tuition just so the parents can brag. And if you don’t have much to spare, invest it for the grandchild instead – an educational fund is always a good investment that will benefit the child when she or he needs it for their own necessary future.

9. Respect The Parents’ Wishes

Sit down with your child and spouse and talk about what their parenting philosophy and hopes are. Then support that as much as you can. If they don’t want their child to watch violent television or movies, don’t let them watch such fare when you’re in charge. If they are raising their child to avoid meat, don’t sneak hot dogs or beef stew into ‘em. Same if they want their child to snack on fruit instead of candy, etc. If they’ve decided on a religion you don’t share, don’t try to undermine it.

This is basic common sense if you expect to have a significant role in your grandchild’s life.

10. Pay Personal Attention to Your Grandchild

Parents have a lot on their minds, often not much time for ‘quality’. Especially in households where both parents work full time and there’s more than one child a single child may feel she or he doesn’t get much one-on-one attention. Parents do the best they can, but the modern world isn’t easy.

A grandmother can offer a good chunk of that good-natured, non-judgmental, look ‘em in the eyes kind of attention that helps to bolster a child’s self-esteem. You can even be rewarded for this when that grandchild calls fairly regularly just to chat about what happened in school, who’s mad at whom, and share the details of their lives that are very important to them, but may not be so important to over-harried parents or siblings.

Posts to This Series:
Part 1: Tips 1 – 5
Part 2: Tips 6 – 10
Part 3: Tips 11 – 15

My newest grandchild is affectionately known as Sunshine (when she’s not being referred to by her eldest cousin as GuitarGreg) will be making her appearance within the next 10 days or so, 500 miles away. She’ll be my seventh and the oldest is 17, so I’ve a little grandmotherly experience. Since I’m not a perfect person, perfect parent or perfect grandparent, I’ve had to learn some things the hard way. This series lists 15 tips that might come in handy.

Part 1: Tips 1 – 5

For you new or expectant first-time Grannies out there, here’s tips 1 through 5…

1. Choose Your Granny Name Well, You’ll Have It Forever

If you don’t want to be called “Granny” or “Grandma” or “Grandmother,” come up with something you like better. Your grandchild will hopefully have at least two grandmothers, and you’ll want to distinguish your title from the others. My grandmothers were “Miss Granny” and “Lala,” my hubby only had one and she was the formal “Grandmother.” Some like “Nana” or “Nonie” and “Amah” is pretty good if you don’t mind the Asian overtones. “MeeMa” is another grandparent name among the tribe, while yet another is simply “Gram.”

It doesn’t really matter what they call you, but that’s who you’ll be to them all their lives. Whatever you decide, let your children know your wishes. If you don’t they’ll give you a granny title of their own choosing, and you’ll have a heck of a time undoing it!

2. Don’t Attempt to Dictate Names for the Baby

I don’t care if “everyone” in your family is named after a relative, you don’t get to decide who – if anyone – a grandchild is named after. This can cause no end of tension in a young family, because the spouse also has a family that will have ideas about who that baby should be named after.

When we started our family we purposely chose names that nobody on either side owned, so there wouldn’t be issues of favoritism. Then had to correct situations where grandparents, aunts and uncles wouldn’t call them by their actual names. Best idea is to be happy for whatever name the parents choose (don’t pout if it’s not your favorite), then pay attention to what THEY call their child. If you reinforce the child’s awakening to his or her own self-identity, it helps cement your relationship.

3. Be Careful With Your Pet Names

Just as you may want to choose your own grandmother title, you may be tempted to stick a cute kiddy nickname on your grandbaby. This may be entirely inappropriate, so approach this with caution. If the parents use a nick, you can probably use the same one. Or not, it mostly depends on your relationship.

It may be okay to call the child by his/her formal name, even if the parents use an informal nick. “Steven” instead of “Stevie,” “Abigail” instead of “Abbie,” things like that. This way the child knows s/he has a formal, important-sounding name, and that his/her grandmother says it like it really *is* important. Makes them feel grown up.

4. Package Advice With a Spoonful of Sugar

Giving advice is always a tricky thing, and when you’re dealing with new parents it’s good to remember they’ve been through a lot very recently in just getting that baby into the world. If possible always wait for the right opening – when your daughter asks or expresses confusion, or her spouse expresses frustration.

Whatever you do, try hard to avoid taking sides in any ongoing disagreements between the parents. The last thing you want to do is cement dissent in the new family, so it’s best to put your best UN-style diplomatic skills to good use. These skills are something grandmas possess in abundance!

5. Be Positive, Even if Your Son-In-Law is Worthless

I’m joking, of course. Heard a Bluegrass band on the radio the other day called “The Worthless Son-In-Laws” (sic), which is the best band name since grandson #1 came up with “Puppet Hand Gone Bad” some years ago. So long as your child is happy in her marriage and he’s not running around or beating her, give him the benefit of the doubt. If you keep an open mind and get to know him, you might even figure out what she sees in him!

Stay tuned for tip installment #2…

Posts to This Series:
Part 1: Tips 1 – 5
Part 2: Tips 6 – 10
Part 3: Tips 11 – 15

It’s Thanksgiving week. I’m of course hosting two dozen guests – family and friends – for the day, and nearly a dozen for the whole week. This means the younger generations will be coming here for the feast. Someday I’m hoping one of them will invite me for the feast and I won’t have to cook a thing!

We do share the cost, the cooking duties and the clean-up (I like to make the guys do dishes, but sometimes it’s more efficient to just do them myself). We’ll use paper plates and plastic cups for the actual meal, but there will be lots of silverware, inevitable plates and serving bowls, pots, pans, storage containers, measuring doo-dads, etc., etc. that should preferably be washed as they come empty or used. Washing down work surfaces, serving surfaces and eating surfaces is always a chore I give to the grandkids.

I will be cooking two large turkeys this year (that I know of). One brought from Florida, one from West Virginia. I’ll cook one a day early, slice it up and refrigerate it for seconds and thirds, pick it for doggy Thanksgiving. There will be at least 6 dogs here, and they’re family too. The other I’ll roast so that it comes out of the oven just in time for dinner, let one of the macho guys slice it up.

It’s a sort of pot-luck too, people will be bringing their specialties. I’ll bake whole wheat dinner rolls, the mashed potatoes and yams will be cooked here too. Then there’s the crackberry sauce no holiday meal is complete without. That’s your basic whole fresh cranberry sauce with a bag of frozen blackberries (can mix raspberries, strawberries and blueberries too) mixed it, sweeter than cranberry sauce and very tasty on the ice cream we’ll put on top of our pumpkin pie later.

Oh, yeah. There’s the pies. Have to bake at least 10 pumpkin pies to get through the weekend, as two of my grandchildren will eat nothing but pumpkin pie for breakfast and at least two slices before bed. The leftover turkey and gravy will get glumped in together as turkey “shit on a shingle” to ladle onto open leftover dinner rolls, good for at least two nights’ meals. Basic turkey sandwiches for lunch, and leftover mashed potatoes for potato pancakes at breakfast on Saturday. Yams make excellent pancakes too, for that matter, so long as they aren’t candied. If they’re candied and you’ve leftovers, heat ‘em up and put them on top of the potato pancakes instead of syrup!

There will be macaroni salad, always good for a quick snack. And the hopping john, which is a meal all by itself. That’s collard greens, black eyed peas and rice cooked in vegetable broth, a staple for Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s around here. Of course you can’t serve hopping john without cornbread, so I usually bake up a couple of cake pans’ worth of that too. As leftovers just crumble the cornbread into a microwave-proof bowl and ladle the hopping john on top. Hit the Magic Minute button and voila! Lunch!

Once the turkeys have been fairly stripped you’ll want to pop those leftovers – including bones – into a freezer bag. If it’s cold in your area you could store it out on an elevated porch such as I have where animals can’t get to it and it won’t take up room in the fridge where bowls of this and that and the other compete with pies for space. As soon as the crowd thins out, put it all into that big ol’ enameled canning pot and cover with water. Boil it all the way down to broth. You can of course add carrots and celery and herbs and onions and such at this point, rough-chopped. After a couple of hours it’s ready to strain and put into jars. You can can these so they don’t have to be kept frozen or in the fridge, or not. Turkey soup stock is great starter for wintertime soups. Then discard the bones where the dogs can’t get at them. We usually hold them for a dumpster run the day I make the broth, just to make sure. They can kill your dog.

I am a big believer that you can’t have too much food for the feast. Anything that doesn’t get eaten Thanksgiving Day or evening will most certainly get eaten on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. It’s the Feast that Keeps On Giving, and that’s just as it should be. That way Mom or Grandma doesn’t have to do more than one day’s worth of hard core kitchen-sitting, everybody eats well, and nobody goes home hungry!