Grandmother’s House

The every-other-year trip to sunny Oklahoma to visit with Grandma (great-grandma to my grandkids) was quite the stressful situation this year, which is the year my hubby’s and my sole remaining parent turns 87. She was hospitalized for ten days a couple of months ago with a terrible case of food poisoning – we don’t buy the ‘flu’ excuse, it wasn’t flu – and we flew our daughter out there to stay with her when she got out because we couldn’t take the time off. Daughter made arrangements for home health care, which she needs because she lives alone in a too-big house. The one her mother bought just off Main Street, which survived the tornado that took out the hotel a block in front and the Presbyterian Church a block behind. Back when my hubby was 8 years old and Norma and Clint ran the hotel.

She has also lost sight in one eye, so needed someone to take her car keys away for public safety’s sake. This also makes her depth perception non-existent, and has led to a series of nasty falls that have us and her other son’s family who lives about 45 minutes away most paranoid. Her friends and neighbors love her, but don’t want to be the ones to discover her dead one day alone in that big house, but she’s stubbornly clung to her independence since her husband of 50 years died over a decade ago.

Luckily she has very tough bones, product no doubt of her youthful career as a Rodeo Queen – champion barrel racer – and the number of times she’d been bucked off her horse. But it’s inevitable that one of these days she’s going to break something, and all her choices will be gone. That would be a very sad end to a wonderfully storied life, and not something we would ever wish upon her. So our job was to unite with the rest of the family and try hard to convince her that she should go into a nice assisted living facility less than a minute away from #2 son.

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More of Life’s Comings and Goings…

Yes, Grandma is once again gifted with a baby grandson, this one making his appearance on Valentine’s Day! No doubt a signal that he’ll be as much of a heartthrob (and/or heart-breaker) as his big brubby and his Daddy, whom I often describe to people as one of…

The Few, The Proud, The Incredibly Good-Looking. Yup, he’s a Marine. Seems to like it okay, will soon hit the decade mark with the Corps. We’d been hoping he would be stationed nearer, but it seems they like him too much where he is now. Welcome to the world, grandson #7!!! I hope it treats you well, and that you will spring lightly along your journey.

Proud and happy as I am to report another grandchild in the growing ranks, it’s been a rough couple of months on the loss side of the scale too. First a friend succumbed after a hard-fought five year battle with ovarian cancer. Days later a another dear friend discovered he had cancer of the spine. He went out relatively quickly, which is just as well with this particular cancer. Yet another old friend fought his cancer hard, checked out last night.

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A Good New Fangled Irish Wake

Well, we made it home in one piece from the funeral of our dear old friend Rick, but only because Grandma did the driving (everyone had been up all night at the wake, I was the only one in any shape to drive 8 hours home!). The funeral crowd overspilled the ample sanctuary of Rick’s Mom’s Catholic church, SRO inside (including the entire foyer) and others standing outside. The priest was a bit taken aback, and rightly suspected a lot of these people had probably never darkened a church door in their lives. But he did fine anyway, and all our hearts were broken – we were there for Mom, no one was going to cause any trouble.

In the immediate family circle are O’Sheas and Coins and O’Cains and O’Rourkes and other names so blatantly Irish nobody could confuse the issue by the number of Rastas and Buddhists and Presbyterians and atheists (and God-Knows-Whats) in the crowd. Even though we did outnumber them. After the mass there was a photo collage presented in the fellowship hall, probably 600 people stayed to see it.

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Filed under Customs, Dying, Family Gatherings, Family Life, Feasts, Generational Learning, Musings, Relationships | Comment (0)

Life’s Comings and Goings

Sadly, I write today about a very dear old friend who didn’t wake up yesterday (April 15). Gladly, I also get to write about another friend whose brand spanking new young son was born right about the same time our old friend died. Funny how life seems to work out that way, when tears of sorrow mingle so readily with tears of joy. I must be getting old (again… still?).

My friend Rick wasn’t supposed to live past 16, when he was gravely injured in an auto accident that killed his friend. Confined to a wheel chair from that moment on with paralysis progressing steadily, he wasn’t supposed to live past 25. We celebrated his 50th birthday just last year, so he beat the odds big time. Became a college teacher, a sage to young people and deep soul’s heartbeat to diverse creative communities. Rick was beloved by hundreds, and holds a special place in my own life as one of the most Culturally Significant human beings I’ve ever had the privilege of knowing and loving.

So it was with a sense of karmic aptness that I greeted the morning mail to find news of another big event, the birth of a fine, healthy son to another friend (I’m still trying to work out the details on an arranged marriage for Sunshine, but it might be too soon…). I don’t believe in reincarnation, but it’s humbling nonetheless to experience life’s comings and goings as such a cyclical phenomenon – the wheel just keeps on turning, even when it seems right that the sun stop in its tracks to grieve a lost light.

Kite-maker believed in the power of laughter

We’ll all get our chance to step off that wheel eventually, go wherever it is our frail bodies keep us from going while we’re here learning things that need learning, maybe teaching the little we’ve learned. It’s nice to know that the opportunities keep on coming in as those spent keep on checking out. Just as it should be.

Filed under Birthing, Dying, Family Life, Generational Learning, Musings | Comment (1)