Managing The Weaponry

…and Laying Down the Law

It was an action-packed weekend. A total of 4 daughters (one by birth, three by stray whose kids call me “Aunt Granny”) one stray son and five semi-grands plus #1 grandson. Here for the youngest semi-grandson’s eighth birthday on Sunday. To make matters worse, the weather was absolutely dismal so there could be no friendly campfire for Peep-roasting, the ins and outs of having all those people coming and going from the cold and wet into the house completely trashed the place so that it’s taken two days just to reclaim the living area.

There were some issues that arose, particularly in regards to the younger boys (8 and 10) and 17-year old #1 grandson’s ample collection of serious weaponry that he just can’t seem to keep put safely away because he practices with them so often. I had to collect ninja knives and Samurai swords, one rapier and several heavy fantasy swords from them at various times, which they’d managed to fish out of some gawd-awful corner of grandson’s outrageously messy room when nobody was looking. The girls (4 and 14) were, as usual, perfect angels - ratted out those boys every time…

#1 Grandson lives here, graduates high school this year, and is an only child. This place is far out in the country with no immediate neighbors, surrounded by National Forest. When he was younger (about 8), we began allowing him to collect wooden practice swords and staffs, gave him form lessons to keep him busy. Our son (who died when grandson was just 2) had a double black belt in a weapons form of Kung-Fu (was also an amazing juggler and seasoned performer who once toured demonstrating his weapons skills on stage with his master). Grandson had inherited a lot of practice and show weapons, bought more once we allowed that beginning when he was 12. He makes spectacularly detailed Samurai armor by hand too, as well as fantasy chess sets from Sculpy - he’s extremely talented, we’ve always encouraged it.

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Filed under Rules, Weapons, Safety, Grandchild Visits, Older Children, Family Gatherings, Discipline | Comments (2)

What NOT To Do to Older Children

Good Night, John-Boy!

People don’t ‘do’ children these days like they used to. Why, in my parents’ generation it wasn’t at all unusual for a couple to have a dozen or more children, and for parents to become grandparents while they were still popping out a baby every other year!

In those days a parent had plenty of time to become a ‘Pro’ while still having children to personally raise. Make the worst mistakes with the eldest, the least with the youngest, and all the kids in between suffering a little less of that “rough childhood syndrome” as time went along. Not everybody’s family was The Waltons, where Ma and Pa were pros right from the start.

Of course, those darned Waltons did have Grandma and Grampa living with them. Or they lived with the grands (it being the Great Depression and all). These days most couples have just a few children, two being average and four being a regular big deal. And with a transient society where people move around a lot to get good work, grandparents aren’t as prevalent in a child’s life as they once were either.

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Setting Up The Rules

In my last post I talked about how important it is for expectant young parents to spend time talking with each other about their own childhoods, and what they thought their parents had done right and wrong. The better to come to mutual agreement on some of the things they will and will not do for their children.

In this post let’s look at some of the positive commitments sociologists and psychologists consider to be important for children and families. The issues for younger children usually have to do with rules, discipline and the ‘balance of power’ in the home.

1. Make your rules as simple as possible.
The adult world is complicated, even for adults. Young children need not to be faced with blatant contradictions when they’re trying to learn how to function in the world, so keep things simple and direct. You’ll inevitably have occasional exceptions, but it’s best to save them for after the kids have learned what the rules are.

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So You’ve Decided to Have a Family…

Part I: What Your Parents Did Wrong… and Right

Congratulations! Whether you planned to have a baby right now or were just pleasantly surprised by the next generation knocking on your life-door, now is a very good time to sit down with your partner and openly discuss some of the issues you’ll face as parents. Doesn’t matter if you have just one child, or plan to raise a whole brood. The decisions you make now about your parental roles will affect everyone in the family for better or worse.

Having a baby is just the beginning. As I’ve warned my youngest daughter struggling through morning sickness with her first baby. Raising the child entails a lot of planning and work that new parents often neglect to do before the babies come along. Sure, you can learn by experience - what we used to call the “School of Hard Knocks” - but who really wants to make big mistakes along the way that their children may suffer from?

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