15 Tips For New Grandmas - 2

Part 2: Tips 6 - 10

6. If You Live Close, Set Babysitting Rules

If your kids live in the same town or area, you may fall into the “convenient” babysitter role. I’ve known grandmothers to get hoodwinked into providing full-time day care for young grandchildren because their daughter decided she didn’t want to deal with real day care when she went back to work. There’s nothing that can sour a grandma-grandchild relationship faster than a grandma who feels abused by the presence of that grandchild.

If you don’t plan to be full time caregiver, don’t volunteer for the job and don’t accept it when offered. Remind the kids that you already paid your baby-raising dues, and don’t plan to start all over again. Also beware of being the “convenient” sitter on call for any time the kids want a night out. Sometimes this can translate to indulgence, while putting the kibosh on all your plans for what YOU want to do.

7. Avoid the Dueling Grandmas Game

Often a grandma can be snowed with tales about what the ‘other’ grandparents do. If you fall for it, you may find that you’ve been hoodwinked into donating way more time, money and/or “goodies” than is good for anybody!

Often these days there are 3 or 4 grannies per grandchild, what with the burgeoning divorce and remarriage rate. And that situation has often conspired to contribute serious spoilage to the new parents as well as the grandkids. Parents and grandparents who vie for affection with bribes and fancy gifts aren’t really buying love. If love is what you’ve got to offer, it will be valuable in its own right.

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Filed under Humor, Babysitting, Grandchild Visits, Relationships, Budgeting, Child-Parent Relationships, Family Life, Older Children, Generational Learning | Comment (1)

Nursery Planning: Furniture Essentials

The sheer volume of “stuff” people can get as gifts or purchase for a new baby before birth and in the first few years can be intimidating to first time parents. Bassinet, cradle, pram, crib and dresser set, changing table, stroller, car seat, swing, walker, child-bed, toy chest… the list just goes on and on seemingly without end!

Luckily, thrifty new parents can get all this stuff used, either cheap or for free. These days when couples generally don’t plan to have more than one or two children - and those spaced 4 or 5 years apart - it’s not like it was when I had two in cribs and diapers at the same time. My Mom had 3 in diapers at the same time! So unless you’re having twins, triplets or even more of a litter than that, you’ve only got one set of baby-goods to get.

Now, a newborn baby can bunk down in an old dresser drawer if need be, but people really do like those pretty wicker bassinets and antique cradles. The antique cradle isn’t likely to have side spindles close enough together for modern regulatory tastes, but you can purchase cradle-bumper pads that tie firmly to the corner braces and center spindles and these will prevent the baby’s head from ever getting stuck. Crib bumpers are a requirement as well, even for newer cribs with closely-spaced bars, for comfort of the sleeping baby as well as some small sense of cozy privacy in the bed.

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Budget-Busters: Maternity Clothes

As my younger daughter goes forward in her pregnancy, she’s soon going to grow right out of her wardrobe. It’s inevitable, of course. In this age of anorexia, how can a woman look beautiful or capable or womanly while sporting a watermelon-size belly?

She has always been fashion conscious, won’t enjoy muu-muus or tent dresses, or any of those ridiculously ‘cutesy’ outfits with the lace or Peter Pan collars, big belly-pointing arrows, or such. And since she and her hubby are young and not rich (the way of things, I think), they don’t have much money to purchase $100 outfits that serve for three months or so and then are never worn again.

So I’m going to go shopping here with my elder daughter the Professionally Creative Thrifter and Fashion Icon, ship her a maternity “Care Package.”

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Filed under Budgeting, Maternity Wear, Clothing, Pregnancy | Comments (14)