With my younger daughter expecting to deliver in March and living far enough away that we can’t see her very often, I have been quite concerned about whether she’s got friends enough up there in Yankee-land to throw her the proper showers and make sure she’s got everything she needs in the way of ‘stuff’ and sage mom advice about things that only moms can know. I’ve been stressing about how I was going to get up there both for at least one shower as well as for when the baby comes, so I can help out and get them started on the least stressful (I know, that’s a relative assessment) schedule for all baby all the time…

Her best friend lives here, where she went to high school. I’ve spoken with her about the whole shower thing and how this is to be managed with everybody living so far apart. Then, this past week my daughter’s best friend surprised and delighted me with the most wonderful idea!

I got an invitation in my email to join my daughter’s “Virtual Baby Shower!” You, like me, may be wondering what the heck a virtual baby shower is, but the moment you get it, it makes tremendous sense for this modern world and the distance between people. It’s a nice, pink-themed (daughter loves pink and the baby’s a girl) site with links to the gift registry she’s signed up for, a guestbook, a whole ‘Names’ section (including one for names she’ll reject, such as CoolAssMojo and GuitarGreg), some puzzles, a page with a list of gifts already bought or given (and who from), and a message board with topics like “Mom Advice” and greetings, and ongoing conversation and even several cool games all us participants get to play while we’re at the Shower!

And the best thing of all is that it isn’t a party with a specific time and place, we all have to provide our own food, drinks and favors, and we can keep it going for weeks or months – follow the whole pregnancy and keep in touch every day. Now, why didn’t I think of this? If you can input the data to get a basic web page going you too can host a Virtual Baby Shower. This one’s on Freewebs.com, though I’m sure such a site could be hosted by any of a number of online web-hosting sites.

So if you have a friend or relative who is having a baby and lives far away from all the people who should definitely get in on the shower action, this seems the perfect way of doing it, and coordinating the gifts at the same time so she doesn’t end up with 4 strollers, 3 car seats, 2 play pens and no high chair!

Links:

Strollerderby Playdate: The Virtual Baby Shower Edition

Web Baby Shower

Long Distance Baby Shower

Luckily, thrifty new parents can get all this stuff used, either cheap or for free. These days when couples generally don’t plan to have more than one or two children – and those spaced 4 or 5 years apart – it’s not like it was when I had two in cribs and diapers at the same time. My Mom had 3 in diapers at the same time! So unless you’re having twins, triplets or even more of a litter than that, you’ve only got one set of baby-goods to get.

Now, a newborn baby can bunk down in an old dresser drawer if need be, but people really do like those pretty wicker bassinets and antique cradles. The antique cradle isn’t likely to have side spindles close enough together for modern regulatory tastes, but you can purchase cradle-bumper pads that tie firmly to the corner braces and center spindles and these will prevent the baby’s head from ever getting stuck. Crib bumpers are a requirement as well, even for newer cribs with closely-spaced bars, for comfort of the sleeping baby as well as some small sense of cozy privacy in the bed.

Some families have an overabundance of baby furniture (and baby clothing, and baby doo-dads and baby knick-knacks). Sunshine is going to be my 7th grandchild (not counting the 6 to whom I am “Aunt Granny”), so cribs, changing tables, dressers, car seats, high chairs and boosters have definitely made the rounds. To the point where some of it’s been trashed as no longer usable. Of the brothers with 4 toddlers between them, their families live too far away from my pregnant daughter to easily pass any of it along.

So I figure Sunshine is in line for some brand new used stuff. I’ve been looking for a baby basket – a woven bassinet-size flexible basket with handles that is very handy for a place to lay a sleeping baby in any room of the house or even out in the yard while working, or taking for friends or family overnight visits. No bassinet, basket or cradle is going to hold a baby more than about 4 months (or as soon as they can roll over on their own), as it soon becomes cramped or unsafe. But such things allow a baby to sleep more comfortably than those propped-up baby seats do. Though that baby seat is certainly handy to keep the baby close by and able to watch you work around the house while s/he is awake (and for occasional snoozes).

Some Moms and Dads like those baby backpacks or front-slung slings for shopping or going for walks, though for mall trips a stroller is definitely preferable unless you like backaches. I had a nifty double stroller (front seat-back seat) for my two, which my mother-in-law bought me new. It was my freedom and I loved that thing! It even had ample baskets so I could stroll down to the neighborhood grocery store and buy a couple of bags’ worth of food with the kids safely in front of me.

Those changing tables are way overrated, in my opinion. Particularly in the new price range of $90-$200! If you must have, get a used one at Goodwill for $5. Most I’ve seen are poorly put together and not very sturdy, and a half-inch piece of plastic covered foam just isn’t worth the price you pay.

Better to get a baby dresser that matches your crib, or just find a nice wooden dresser at the auction shop and refinish it. Buy some dense 1″ foam for the pad and cover it with the plastic version of whatever nursery theme material you’ve chosen for your bedding and curtains. Secure it to the top of the dresser and voilå! You’ve a fine changing table that’s much sturdier than one of those cheap Wal-Mart varieties. Put your powder and lotion and rash cream, diaper pins and even diapers in the top drawer, or you can hang one of those cloth diaper holders on the wall next to the dresser.

And speaking of basic care goodies (I know, it’s not furniture), I’m a big believer in cloth diapers. They’re not as convenient as disposables – which you’ll definitely want for traveling – but they’re better for the baby’s skin, tend to be changed more often, and not that hard to deal with. New styles are pre-folded and have velcro tabs just like disposables. Launder your own (as I did, back in the olden days) or get a diaper service. You’ll need a pail and will have to learn how to flush-rinse soiled diapers. That sounds yucky (and is), but you’ll encounter grosser things than just dirty diapers in your Mom-Job!

Be sure to take hubby shopping for baby furniture with you, and educate yourself on safety regulations pertaining to baby furniture before you go. Check out all hardware on cribs, make sure things fit together tightly and all the hinges and latches work well. Check the drawers on the dresser and any other nursery furniture to make sure they don’t stick and aren’t warped. You may want to refinish matched or mismatched pieces to suit your chosen nursery theme. Use non-toxic paints or varnish finishes, always.

There are specialty consignment shops for baby furniture, baby accessories and baby clothing. There are the big second-hand outlets like Goodwill and Salvation Army where everything’s under one roof with the maternity clothes and maybe even a nice used rocking chair too! There are neighborhood garage sales, where some great bargains and unusual pieces can sometimes be found. And don’t forget to check out the want ads, the community Super-Shopper rag, and online auction houses like e-Bay. Beware to not be fooled by a great purchase price, e-Bay sellers sometimes nail you with shipping charges that could get a Mercedes Benz from one side of the country to the other!

Check out some of the good advice in the links below about buying used baby items. Always set yourself a budget and don’t bust it unless you’ve just GOT to have that antique cradle no matter what. And happy baby-shopping!

Links:

Target Woman: Baby Nursery Furniture

New Parents Blog: Baby Furniture

Buy used baby furniture at affordable rates

How to select baby furniture