The Strange History of Marriage

Taking a bit of a break from All Baby, All The Time, thought I’d do a little strolling through human history to see what there is to see about the institution of marriage. I’ve been wondering why some people want to cling to exclusive cultural frames at a time when about half of traditional marriages end in divorce and the benefits of marriage are being denied to whole segments of the population altogether. Maybe understanding something of the history and traditions associated with the institution could help our society to figure out what marriage is in the modern world and who may claim the right to *be* married.

I was inspired to go looking by an op-ed by Stephanie Coontz in the New York Times entitled Taking Marriage Private [Nov. 26]. She begins the article with a question, and a historical observation:

WHY do people — gay or straight — need the state’s permission to marry? For most of Western history, they didn’t, because marriage was a private contract between two families. The parents’ agreement to the match, not the approval of church or state, was what confirmed its validity.

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Leftovers: How NOT to Cook All Weekend

It’s Thanksgiving week. I’m of course hosting two dozen guests - family and friends - for the day, and nearly a dozen for the whole week. This means the younger generations will be coming here for the feast. Someday I’m hoping one of them will invite me for the feast and I won’t have to cook a thing!

We do share the cost, the cooking duties and the clean-up (I like to make the guys do dishes, but sometimes it’s more efficient to just do them myself). We’ll use paper plates and plastic cups for the actual meal, but there will be lots of silverware, inevitable plates and serving bowls, pots, pans, storage containers, measuring doo-dads, etc., etc. that should preferably be washed as they come empty or used. Washing down work surfaces, serving surfaces and eating surfaces is always a chore I give to the grandkids.

I will be cooking two large turkeys this year (that I know of). One brought from Florida, one from West Virginia. I’ll cook one a day early, slice it up and refrigerate it for seconds and thirds, pick it for doggy Thanksgiving. There will be at least 6 dogs here, and they’re family too. The other I’ll roast so that it comes out of the oven just in time for dinner, let one of the macho guys slice it up.

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Filed under Recipes, Division of Labor, Feasts, Holidays, Family Life, Nutrition, Generational Learning | Comments (2)

To Breast Feed or Not, That is the Question!

Back in the olden days when I was having babies breast feeding was frowned upon as something only poor people did. I don’t really know why, since my mother breast fed all five of us siblings and we turned out healthy enough. Of course, when I was having babies pediatricians also advised Moms to start feeding their infants solid food (cereals, fruit) at the ripe old age of 6 weeks, too.

In the years since then medical science has actually investigated how nature designed babies to be fed, and discovered that human breast milk in most circumstances is the very best thing a baby human could be getting in the way of nutrition. Almost as if they finally figured out that cow’s milk is for baby cows! What’ll they think of next?

In addition to being the most easily digested animal protein infants can get, breast milk also comes with antibodies that protect babies against diseases and allergies, and breast feeding generally doesn’t cause the baby to swallow air which leads to vomiting, upset stomach, and unhappy babies.

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Nursery Planning: Furniture Essentials

The sheer volume of “stuff” people can get as gifts or purchase for a new baby before birth and in the first few years can be intimidating to first time parents. Bassinet, cradle, pram, crib and dresser set, changing table, stroller, car seat, swing, walker, child-bed, toy chest… the list just goes on and on seemingly without end!

Luckily, thrifty new parents can get all this stuff used, either cheap or for free. These days when couples generally don’t plan to have more than one or two children - and those spaced 4 or 5 years apart - it’s not like it was when I had two in cribs and diapers at the same time. My Mom had 3 in diapers at the same time! So unless you’re having twins, triplets or even more of a litter than that, you’ve only got one set of baby-goods to get.

Now, a newborn baby can bunk down in an old dresser drawer if need be, but people really do like those pretty wicker bassinets and antique cradles. The antique cradle isn’t likely to have side spindles close enough together for modern regulatory tastes, but you can purchase cradle-bumper pads that tie firmly to the corner braces and center spindles and these will prevent the baby’s head from ever getting stuck. Crib bumpers are a requirement as well, even for newer cribs with closely-spaced bars, for comfort of the sleeping baby as well as some small sense of cozy privacy in the bed.

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Filed under Nursery, Baby Stuff, Baby Furniture, Budgeting, Child-Space | Comments (12)